Tag Archives: Evening Standard

Tory book Romance

It is likely this image of Boris Johnson featured in the Evening Standard stooped and shuffling around the country channeling the tantric energy of a hunchback, that secured him last night’s victory in the polls.

Clearly, hobbling into pastoral regions and harassing milkmen claimed the “chuntering imbecile” sympathy vote from those beyond the City’s limits and many of those within, leaving the Tories five more years to target and stunt the growth of puppies and children of all ages.

Deliveries

Perhaps Webster’s dictionary will pick up on this new terminology and there will be a whole generation of “ocean plastic” harvesters and “conflict-free” tin miners embraced by politicians everywhere as a boon to the economy. Use it to make anything plastic or tinny! Guilt free, just ask Vodaphone.

In other news the “Brown Army” , as UPS’s legion of drivers and handlers are called, will likely in future handle all hostage crises internally rather than phoning the police so as not to be shot dead.

Methods for de-escalation & diversion could include packaging-peanut grenades or non-lethal bean bags filled with old “We have been trying to reach you…” notices.

Do not like

November 22nd’s Evening Standard carries a bullet point with the following quotation:

“[a] majority of 73 percent say ‘they do not like him’,” regarding Mr. Corbyn, who is currently jockeying for the lead in the campaign for Prime Minister. That leaves a quarter of the population to decide if there’s anything of value in his being whatsoever.

His rival, old Etonian Boris Johnson, is focusing more on the “division” of the people.

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